Roger Elton Alexander

Roger Alexander, 81, died at 10:43 p.m. August 19th at The Journey Home hospice in Bartlesville, Oklahoma. He was surrounded by his loving wife and children. Though he had been battling some form of cancer for fourteen years, Roger seemed untouched by the disease until the final weeks of his life. Whether it be as a father, grandfather and great-grandfather or whether it be for his many different roles in the community—working with the Civitan Club, Elder Care, the Concern Center, Family Promise, or Disciples Christian Church—Roger will be remembered for his ongoing devotion to others. Roger was born September 9th, 1934 in Galva, Kansas. He was the older brother to three younger sisters (Charlotte, Jeanne and Sharon) all raised by Andrew Elton Alexander and Mabel Elizabeth Alexander in McPherson, Kansas. A math whiz and an Eagle Scout, he worked at Dillon’s grocery and the NCRA refinery in McPherson (where his father worked) before becoming the first child in his family to go to a four year college, earning a B.S. in Engineering from Kansas State University (followed a decade later by an M.S. from Oklahoma State University). He served in the United States Air Force Reserves and moved to Bartlesville in 1957 to begin a career with Phillips Petroleum Company. At Phillips, he worked first as a mechanical engineer, then as a systems analyst, project leader and manager of professional development. After retiring from Phillips in 1986, Roger worked as an adjunct professor at Oklahoma State and Rogers State, and as a consultant for the Tulsa Technology Center. He also served as chair for the local Civitan club and became the first governor of the Civitan’s Heartland District, combining Kansas-Oklahoma, Arkansas and Texas. He chaired the Washington County Democratic Party for six years, and he served as a ToP facilitator with the global Institute of Cultural Affairs. He worked on numerous community projects, including Meals on Wheels, the Washington/Nowata County Nutrition Project and the construction of the fully accessible Civitan Park on Silver Lake Road. With his neighborhood Disciples Christian Church, he extended this work in a range of efforts that included tackling local homelessness and making three mission trips to Nicaragua and Honduras to help with fundamental issues like access to clean water. He also sang in the choir, served as a deacon and an elder and played a leadership role in the church’s cornerstone Modern Literature Class. Though a lifetime study of theology, team-building and problem-solving skills went into everything he did, those who knew Roger will remember him for his humanity and vulnerability. A shy child, he worked hard to develop his outgoing personality, and one way he related to people was through a remarkable honesty about his struggle to live life to the fullest. He spoke with a big voice and he sang just as big, once telling one of his children, “If you’re going to bother to sing, sing out!” He loved to dance, and one of his daughter-in-laws reported (with surprise) that he made her feel like she too could dance. When complimented on it, he shrugged and admitted he worked hard as a young man to gain his “little jitterbug.” Everyone close to him learned from his openness, and we benefited from his quieter passions, too—his fine breakfasts and sandwiches, his landscaping skills, his vegetable gardens (starring some pretty fine tomatoes and peppers) and his pride and joy accomplishments— more varieties of roses than many of us new existed. Roger worked hard to take pleasure in life and share that pleasure with those around him. In his final weeks, he saw all of his great-grandchildren, visibly delighting in their antics. One memory that will always stand out is his trademark deep-voiced cooing as he held Kyzen, just one week old at the time, asking the child, “So what do you think of this world?” Roger is preceded in death by his parents and his sister Jeanne. He is survived by his wife Mary Alexander, sisters Charlotte Christensen and Sharon Alexander, his sister-in-law Treva Wiseman, son James McGraw and his wife Karen, son Danny Alexander and his wife Lauren, daughter Lynnette Nelson and her husband Don, son Kent Chafin, and daughter Jennifer Chafin; grandchildren Randy Martin and his wife Lina, Dylan Chafin, Sarah Funck and her husband David, Cory Chafin, Trionna Alexander, Alyson Tingler and her husband Kevin, Molly Johnson and her husband Cody, Josh McGraw and his wife Ashley; great-grandchildren Carter Funck, Nevaeh Funck, Lana Martin, Kyzen Chafin, Avery Tingler, Ryan Tingler and Maddie Johnson; many nieces and nephews, and his beloved dog Deacon. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that those so moved should send donations to either the Disciples Christian Church of Bartlesville, Oklahoma or any of the organizations Roger supported. Memorial Services will be officiated by Pastor Scott Taylor at Disciples Christian Church on Saturday, September 24, 2016 at 1:30 p.m., 5800 Douglas Lane, Bartlesville, OK.

Roger Elton Alexander

September 9, 1934 - August 19, 2016