Patricia Ann DonCarlos

Patricia Ann Weber DonCarlos passed away on August 24, 2022, at the age of 90. She was born on January 15, 1932, on a farm in Arley, Missouri, north of Kansas City, the second daughter of Ada (Owen) and Graydon Weber. She loved growing up on the farm, surrounded by beautiful green hills and the farms of her Grandmother Weber and of her 10 aunts and uncles and all their children, her beloved cousins. The Arley Methodist Church and general store were just up the hill and the Swiss German ancestors who had immigrated there as a group formed a loving and tight-knit community. Especially close were Aleta and Willie Irminger, and the Raichle family. As a child, Patricia learned to walk on tiptoe and skipped everywhere she went, usually carrying a kitten under her arm. She gathered pecans and black walnuts for the Christmas fudge, harvested chicken eggs, helped grow vegetables, fruits and flowers, and loved nothing better than to eat strawberries and tomatoes right out of the garden with her sister Jane and cousin Phil. Before she was 16, she was enlisted to drive the combine on her father’s and uncles’ farms because “she drove straighter than the boys.” At Smithville High School, she was homecoming queen and laughed that she had to make her own crown; she swore she was named queen because one of the star football players said he wouldn’t play otherwise. During high school, she worked at the soda fountain of the Smithville drugstore and claimed that she only ate milk shakes for an entire year. She went to Missouri Girl’s State and was elected to office, which entailed public speaking, which was perfect for her, as she never experienced stage fright (a trait she did not pass on). At home, Patricia wore long pigtails and overalls most of the time, but as young ladies, her mother Ada made sure that her girls had the latest fashions and took them to the Kansas City Plaza to shop at stylish stores and experience fine restaurants. They were very beautiful and gracious young women. After high school, Patricia went to college at William Woods for a year, then decided she was better suited to business and took a secretarial job at Prudential Insurance Co. in downtown Kansas City. She set up housekeeping with a roommate in a tiny efficiency, and went home on weekends, always taking her dad a big box of Russell Stover’s chocolates and her mom a hand-painted teacup. She loved her job and enjoyed her coworkers and boss, all of whom were of Italian descent and they introduced her to the joys of garlic and spaghetti. As a kid, Patricia had loved to write and draw and drew all over every scrap of paper she could find—all of her childhood books were covered in drawings. She knew the names of all the magazine illustrators even as a girl, and enjoyed the work of Al Parker, Norman Rockwell, Jon Whitcomb, Coby Whitmore, Andrew Wyeth, and later, the New Yorker cartoons of George Booth and Barry Blitt. Her early love of art may have influenced her inclinations toward another artist, her husband Lyle, who was a Kansas City Art Institute graduate and a life-long artist well known in the community. They were introduced in April of 1954 by Patricia’s sister, Jane Weber Vaughan, and her brother-in-law, Ken Vaughan, who was a coworker and friend of Lyle’s. They were married in October of that year, and would have been married even sooner, but Lyle didn’t have time off for a honeymoon until then. After their marriage and honeymoon camping in Colorado, Patricia and Lyle lived in Bartlesville, and a year later, their first daughter, Lydia, was born, followed two and half years later by Julie. They moved to Denver then Boulder, CO, for a little over a year when the girls were toddlers and were happy living near Pat’s sister Jane and her family (husband, Ken, and children Kenny Weber Vaughan and Laura Vaughan Fick). They enjoyed camping and hiking in the mountains, something they continued to enjoy almost every year for over 50 years. Lyle’s work brought them back to Bartlesville in 1960 and Patricia set about homemaking and volunteering in the community. Over the years, she served Bartlesville as a volunteer in many capacities. Patricia was on the hospital auxiliary at both Memorial and Jane Phillips Hospitals, serving terms as president. She was a Brownie and Girl Scout leader. She volunteered at the Frank Phillips home as a docent, leading tours and serving in other capacities at the mansion, including putting the wooden jigsaw puzzles together and polishing silver, and thoroughly enjoyed the staff, the contents of the mansion, and the history. She led tours at the Price Tower and went to every show. She worked with Allied Arts doing anything needed, including stuffing envelopes and ushering at events. With her friend Norma Cordill, she cooked for Meals on Wheels for several years. She was a life-long member of First United Methodist Church, frequently serving communion, and was an active member of a circle. She did not like to have idle hands, and knitted countless baby sweaters, hats and blankets to be given to families in missions supported by the church. She also knitted caps in bright colors for kids in Bartlesville, making a pile of 30 or so, then she and Lyle would drop them off at a local school they where they thought kids might need them, not leaving a name. She bought at least 10 sets of items from the local school supply lists every year and delivered the packets randomly to a school every August, always anonymously. When her daughters were out of grade school, she began working at the Election Board, at the United Way with Marguerite Taylor, and then at the Boy’s Club with Jo Allyn Lowe, enjoyed her work in all three positions. In the home, the freezer was always filled with cakes or cookies and the pantry had ingredients for a three-bean salad, ready to deliver to a family in need or to serve if friends dropped by—the coffee pot was always on and the house always ready to receive unexpected guests. Patricia had many interests and hobbies. She was an excellent cook and loved trying new recipes. She read voraciously, novels, The New Yorker magazine, and history, and was so well versed on the Lewis and Clarke expedition that she could have given a college level lecture series without notes. She did multiple cross word puzzles every day, and never missed reading the comic strips in the newspaper. She loved PBS Masterpiece Theater and The News Hour. She loved nearly all kinds of music, and particularly enjoyed Tchaikovsky, Dave Brubek, Errol Garner, Dave Gruisin, Alison Krause, the Bee Gees, and her nephew’s playing as the lead guitarist for Marty Stuart. She loved to travel. Pat and Lyle visited England many times went on 25+ trips with Elder Hostel. They went to Colorado and Kansas City frequently, and to see their older daughter as she moved from place to place during her education, always taking in the art museums, live music, and theater. She and her husband adored Santa Fe, NM, visiting twice a year, and developed many acquaintances there who would recognize them around town and call them by name, or by “Hey, Okies!” They enjoyed camping and backpacking, including one memorable backpacking trip in the Pecos wilderness, and another as a sponsor at Philmont Scout Ranch in NM. Patricia loved to canoe with Lyle and was a fearless paddler, even though she never learned to swim. She was an avid bridge player, at one time playing in three bridge clubs and with other couples, and nothing made her happier than to spoil her husband’s slam. Patricia sewed the family’s clothes and didn’t just sew—she embroidered the clothes with her husband’s designs or designs she made herself, some of them done to remind her of designs at the La Fonda Hotel in Santa Fe. Their home in the 60’s and 70’s was different from most in the neighborhood. There was a magenta wall in the living room and a magenta rocking chair, the sofa cushions were fuschia and orange plaid with a green stripe, with beside the sofa was an orange George Kovac’s lamp. There was no tree at Christmas, but plenty of homemade Christmas cookies and fudge and other decorations and many presents. Patricia was an asset to the community, a beloved mother, treasured wife, and a dear friend to many. For the past 5 years, she had been a resident at Heritage Villa nursing home due to a severe diabetic condition. She passed away there peacefully. Patricia was preceded in death by her parents (Ada and Graydon Weber), her stepmother (Ruth Ruddell Weber), and her sister. She is survived by her husband, Lyle, her daughters Lydia (Chicago) and Julie (Denver), and nieces and nephews. A private memorial service will be held at a later date. The family requests that donations in Patricia DonCarlos’ memory be made to Comforting Hands Hospice, Bartlesville, OK.

Patricia Ann DonCarlos

January 15, 1932 - August 24, 2022